Tim Jeffrey has written numerous plays, some of them performed on the radio, and others on stage. He has just re-done a radio comedy, PARKING AT BELL CREEK, as a musical comedy and is remaking songs with a new composer after removing the original artist engaged to provide music. He wants the show to have the very best score possible.

Excerpt from "Parking at Bell Creek"

Script sample:


JUDE
She’s thirteen, Elaine. Think of yourself when you were her age: she grates on your nerves because you’re so much alike.
ELAINE
You’re saying I’m a whiny, defiant, self-pitying, life-sucking narcissistic flake?
JUDE
(to us)
You can see where this is going. Inevitably, you’ll be nominated as the perpetrator. She’s actually saying...
(activates her)
ELAINE
When I pretend we’re deciding something together based on something I know but you haven’t been privy to, can you just absorb my contempt for not knowing how I feel?
JUDE
(Freezing” her; glibly, to us)
Why yes I can. Remember to use their merciless illogic against them by speaking the arcane language of emotions.
(to her)
How can you say such a thing? You cut me to the quick.
ELAINE
Do you remember what we did on our eighth date?
JUDE
(Patient teacher, to us)
That’s right, they count them.
(1920’s Flying Ace, to her)
I was wearing a madras shirt and a canny leer. Squadrons flew overhead. We had malted duck for breakfast; we jitterbugged.
(off her fuming)
Maybe you’re too serious too, like her, you know - with what’s going on in your life?
ELAINE
No. Do tell oh Wise One. What’s going on in my life?
JUDE
(to us)
Miscalculation. Change the subject, quickly.
(scrambling)
What if we talk to her about sex and that only gets her wondering?  I was a good kid till I parked at Bell Creek, then I went Ga-ga. I’ve spent my life trying to get over it.
ELAINE
You are so Catholic.
JUDE
Well...? Do you want that to happen to her? None of our contemporaries even talk to their kids about sex.
ELAINE
None of our contemporaries “parent” at all. They want the no muss-no fuss, self-maintained child.
JUDE
(to us)
Don’t tell her how inviting that sounds.
ELAINE
I don’t even know my own daughter any more.
Sings “WE KNEW IT ALL ALONG”

ELAINE: SHE’S ACTING SUSPICIOUS. MORE THAN USUALLY.
JUDE:   WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? NOT ACTING LIKE YOU OR ME?
ELAINE: THAT COULD BE A SIGN, THAT SHE’S USING DRUGS.
 WHY DIDN’T WE KNOW?
JUDE:   WHAT PARENT EVER DOES?
CHORUS:
ELAINE: IT’S EVIDENT WE’VE BEEN A FAILURE AT KEEPING            OUR BABY SAFE
JUDE:   LET’S CALL UP A THIRD WORLD ORPHANAGE AND TRY TO ARRANGE A TRADE.
ELAINE: I SUCK AT THIS AND SO DO YOU. WE KNEW IT ALL ALONG.
JUDE:   I’D REALLY TAKE OFFENSE AT THAT IF YOU HAD SAID IT INSTEAD OF SUNG.

ELAINE: A MOTHER HAS A SIXTH SENSE OF WHAT CHILDREN NEED.
JUDE:  HOW ABOUT ME? YOU CUT THAT CHILD, YOU’LL SEE ME BLEED.
ELAINE: YOU ARE THE SURGEON, HER MOTHER IS THE NURSE,
I’M HER BEST FRIEND.
(to us)
JUDE:   CAN MY DAY GET ANY WORSE?  

(REPEAT CHORUS)
JUDE
I’m hurt that you would think that of me.
ELAINE
That you’re a poor role model and lacking in gender sensitivity? I never said such a thing.
JUDE
With all due respect, Elaine, I haven’t been around a lot  for a the last few --
ELAINE
Years. My point exactly. So don’t presume to give advice. At least I don’t treat her like some princess.
JUDE
And I do? She gets the male view from me. That’s what parenting should be about. I supply what you can’t.
ELAINE
(suddenly reflective)
I like that.